Sometimes a conversation clicks.
You say something and the other person gets it. You exchange ideas and understanding at high speed with almost no loss. That’s what I think of as high-bandwidth communication.
What makes it high-bandwidth?
In networking, bandwidth describes how much data can flow through a connection. Some conversations feel like dial-up: slow, full of static, easily dropped. Others feel like fiber: fast, clear, and low-lag.
What makes the difference? Four things:
- Compression. You’ve built up enough shared context that fewer words carry more meaning. Inside jokes are high-bandwidth. So are the looks couples exchange. So is “For sale: baby shoes, never worn”.
- Low-latency. There’s little delay between what’s said and understanding. No need to backtrack, over-explain, or translate.
- Bi-directional. The exchange is fluid, not turn-based. It’s a back-and-forth where each message builds on the last.
- Error correcting. When misunderstandings happen, they’re caught and fixed immediately. “Wait, we might be talking about different things.” Or if a metaphor doesn’t quite fit, you tweak it until it does.
How to create it
High-bandwidth communication happens when people show up tuned-in: open, curious, and listening.
- Building shared context. Each interaction you have with someone builds or maintains bandwidth. Shared experiences, references, and history can improve future conversations, and allow you to use shorthand.
- Saying what you mean. Not the safe version; the real one. “I’m fine” is low-bandwidth. “I’m overwhelmed and don’t know where to start” can open a meaningful discussion.
- Earning trust. Vulnerability without trust is just oversharing. You build trust by showing up, by not using what people tell you against them, by remembering what matters to them.
- Listening for what’s underneath. When someone says “work’s busy,” sometimes they mean “I’m drowning.” High-bandwidth listening means hearing both layers.
Why it matters
A two-minute conversation can make you think for days. An hour-long meeting can transfer almost nothing. The difference isn’t duration. It’s bandwidth. Most of our days are filled with low-bandwidth exchanges.
When you hit one of these moments, pay attention. They’re a reward for showing up.
Then pick someone you trust and say the thing you actually mean.